I saw this on my...local craigslist. A rant.
I saw this on my local craigslist and while it's pretty blunt, it's also (in my opinion)....absolutely true beyond a doubt. Again, I am merely copying and pasting this,...I am just the messenger, not the author.
It's true, nice guys always finish last. if you're looking for more than just a quick fuck, it doesn't matter how nice you are, how talented, how cultured, how insightful, nor how smart. It doesn't matter how much respect you show towards others. It doesn't matter how much you've struggled, how much you've achieved, nor what incredible things you've experienced. Charm and the ability to raise someone's spirits are worth nothing. it's all about how good looking you are - if your ancestors didn't pass any genes for good looks on to you, you're screwed. you might as well rant like a postmodern asshole poet.
Of course, all of the above is twice as true in Richmond, where gay men are completely without healthful role models for social skills and ethics.
In conclusion, mr. nice guys, fulfill your darwinist destiny; buy yourselves a dozen roses and leap off a cliff. Bye bye.
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So, whats your opinion on this? |
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I think this is something that merits discussion. Men will be men and do what they do. We have all made our mistakes and dealt with it in our own ways. Sex is a powerful drug that when single is fun, but when practiced outside a seemingly monogomous relationship can seriously cause anger and sadness. Personally, I (Sean) have been on both sides of that and it is not a fun road. But many of us have learned our lessons and built successful relationships by looking beyond bitterness and depression and kept hope that love would come their way. It may take a few tries but love in self eventually brings love from others.
But I would argue with the author because role models do exist amongst us in the gay male community. There are couples like Stefan and I who work hard to make it work (to quote Tim Gunn) and deal with all the issues of a straight couple. Those are the role models, although not entirely perfect since who is. And those couples in my experience have been the ones who wouldn't necessarily be the "hot" gifted golden gods. These are the couples that are moving forward the ability of gays and lesbians to have civil unions and marriages in the first place. Sure pop culture also has its role, but by putting one of these couples in your neighborhood or the workplace and not hiding it anymore, the nation has been exposed to the normalcy of it. Where good looks comes in is in how we view ourselves and how pop culture pushes their idea of gay beauty.
Sean-
When I come across a couple like you and Stefan, it does give me hope that I'm not going to be alone for the rest of my life.
I'm not "alone" in the sense that I have a wonderful network of family and friends that care deeply for me.. Id like to think that I am well-respected, well-liked and pretty darn popular....but I'd be lying if I said that, at the end of the day, that I didn't want something more substantial.... on which I can build the foundation of a real, lasting, long term relationship.
It's a valid question then, when someone seemingly possesses all of the traits that SHOULD matter, as to why they remain single (when they desire a relationship)
It's normal I think, at that point, to question whether or not it is about one's physical appearance.
Personally, I don't think I'm completely unattractive, but I know that I routinely "lose out" to guys who are either SMOKING hot with no personality, or guys that are nice and are above average in attractiveness. Frankly, it sucks.
In my case, to compound matters, is that most of my gay male friends are EXTREMELY attractive and, for the most part, pretty nice guys. So, to watch them regularly acheive at something I'm quite poor at is unbelievably frustrating.
The old saying is "how can you expect someone to love you when you can't love yourself?" To which I say...."How can you be expected to love yourself when no one around you is interested in loving you?"